how do you get your relationship to work with your married who will be getting divorced in 2 years time??

This is a money forum, not a relationship advice forum, my first question is why is he waiting two years for a divorce???

Hi abarto and welcome to the forum.

Your question is a tad vague .... are you saying that you are in a marriage where you will be divorcing in two years time or are you in a relationship with a married person who has to wait two years for their divorce?

Either way, and assuming that the situation is unavoidable, you have to accept everything and motivate yourselves in the difficult situation. OR are you simply asking how you can repair the relationship to avoid divorce?

Sooo many questions but as Jazz points out, you should be taking advice elsewhere on this one, unless finances are in turmoil!

Well abarto no one can give you a definitive answer to this one but frankly unless you are currently living together and happy, it is difficult to see the relationship remaining stable as it sounds like there are a lot of pressures, hence your question.

Having said that, it sounds like you are the one with the doubts and you really need to take a long hard look at those and decide where you want to go. I just wonder why the divorce is two years in the future and that does suggest there are a lot of ties on the other side.

Only you can decide if you want this to go the distance or perhaps you should find someone with not quite so much heavy baggage!

Hi again abarto ... the situation seems to become more complicated as you supply more information. No wonder you are having difficult times with triplets to care for and the preparations for a return to work and all the tribulations that brings. And that clearly will cause friction between the two of you. I think all you can do is to hang on to the positives here and decide that your relationship is strong and for keeps ... I agree that the fact he remains married is a thorn but if his commitment to you is strong, that should be enough.

Sorry Snoops, I disagree. If he loves her why would he be waiting two years to get a divorce?? Sounds like a bored married man looking for a bit on the side to me

Getting divorced in 2 years time !!!! IMHO NOBODY waits or plans to get divorced at some time in the future, its ridiculous.
Anyway you dont have to "get divorced" to end a marriage.All he has to do is LEAVE, the legal bit can be done later. How about you both go to his divorce solicitor and have a chat about it, presumably with plenty of time to go the solicitor can be getting on with the ground work so that come 2 years and +1 day the divorce will be completed.
Or does he mean he is not going to "start divorce proceedings" till 2 years time, in which case he might not actually be divorced for 3 - 3.25 years, or longer ??
If he is loving caring and friendly then I am sure you should get very straight answers to straight questions so show him all these Q&A replies and get your questions sorted.
It will then all become clearer for you.
Good Luck.

Hi again Abarto ... there seems to be some conjecture about having to wait two years for a divorce. Can you bring us up to speed on that one and give us all some idea why the two year delay? Perhaps the advice given could be tailored better then .....

Hi again Abarto and thank you for the update in information ... of course it is probably inappropriate to comment too much on a situation that we only have the bare facts on but one thing I will say that if someone leaves their wife immediately after getting married does not bode well for any further relationships .... it does suggest some lack of responsibility in the previous relationship and that may well carry forward. The poignant thing here is that you now appear to have three children between you and that's one dramatic tie ... as such, you have no option other than to see this through but ( and I share Jazz's view here ) you should take heart but be cautious at the same time. I do hope this works out for you.

Is anybody else starting to get bad vibes about this thread?

I think this may well be one of those cases where ignorance is bliss, if only to the question asker ....

No disrespect but i fell for a married man almost 10 yrs ago, he has been officially separated since 2007 so in may 2012 he said about divorcing her yeh right i really dont see it happening, so be careful make sure he will do it, im ending mine after 10 yrs if he dont divorce her

I presume there is a really good reason why your partner isn't getting divorced for two year's Abarto. I would talk it all over with him and discuss going to the Solicitors as soon as possible as like others on the Forum have said he could get this sorted and then it would be very quick after the 2 year's for him to get his divorce and to get married to you and spend the rest of your life together. However, if he delays getting divorced after the two year's I would be very very wary of his intentions to make a future with you. We have all met men we thought were the "one" but when they are pressured in any way they back off and make out it's our fault. I sincerely hope that this isn't the case for you and that you will find great happiness with this man and your three wonderful children but don't look at everything through rose tinted glasses.

Abarto I hope you're right and wish you well. Only problem for me is that he must have also thought his wife was the only one for him or he wouldn't've married her.........

Sounds as though he got married to get residency in this country, do hope I'm wrong

You know what Jazz ... we could turn this into a TV blockbuster, starting off as a question on a money forum, then with detail by detail unfolding in flashback, the truth slowly but surely rising to the surface, more and more forum members throwing aspersions into the air, culminating in a massive expose with a multi agency involvement.

It does seem that the two year immigration rule for UK legal residency is at the root of all this and there are obvious problems with the asker's relationship with this man, in fact I suspect it is in turmoil. The addition of triplets into the equation doesn't help of course .... and having a son by the first woman complicates the issue even further. The asker's comment "only has a son for him nothing else" suggests a high degree of irresponsibility on everyone's part here and certainly massive self denial on behalf of the asker.

No one can give quality advice on here without knowing the individuals concerned and of course it is barely a money issue. However, I am sure that we all identify the vulnerability of the question asker and her need for some sort of support as this is clearly a continuing and developing worry for her.

We can only and collectively wish her well with throwing any further discouragement into the ring.

Glad things are improving for you, take care

I think it's time we drew a veil over this.