What is your opinion of others telling your children off for doing something bad?
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In my opinion It is good if relatives tell your kids off but they haven't much of a higher right more than the real parents and other relatives can't punish our kids themselves of course, And parents are allowed to make certain dicisions for there children because thats what parents are there for, especially our family background and religon is allowed that. Why would anyone take dicisions for other families and not be guilty about it?
Answers (6)
My two son's are grown up now Sunflower and it has been agreed that whilst I'm looking after my grandchildren and they need chastising that my hubby and I are can deal out any verbal reprimands or sending to the 'naughty step' that may be needed.
I wouldn't dream of physically smacking them or pushing them but I am quite content to bawl them out should the occasion arise, and I often do.
As for anyone else i.e a school teacher or someone in authority then I feel that the subject of admonishment should be discussed before leaving them in their care.
Ultimately I feel that they are your children and your responsibility so therefore any decisions regarding their care, well-being and or scolding is down to the parent or guardian.
I have no problem in people TELLING children off. Children grow up within the immediate family home and in the wider society at large and the accepted rules in one might not be tolerated in the other and the learning and understanding of the differeences is vital to a child's holistic socialisation and education.
I have often witnessed some parents abdicate all responsibility for their children's unacceptable behaviour especailly in public.
How many times have people heard and seen screaming and disruptive behaviour that doesn't just impact upon the immediate parents but other people in a wider context in supermarkets, cafe's, restaurants and bars? Whilst the parents happily ignore this and continue to chat away.
I am in no way advocating that other adults discipline a child through physical contact, far from it.
However, children need to learn from an early age that there are consequences of their actions, and whilst some adults, in that child's life may be more tolerant and understanding of certain types of behaviour, others may deal with that expression of behaviour in a vastly different way.
In reply to LILLIE, I don't see that a discussion about discipline with "those in authority " is either practical or desirable. Teachers have classes of 30+ and may see 400+ pupils in a week, how can they discuss with every parent? Discipline procedures are set out in school handouts, if you are not prepared to abide by them then take your child elsewhere. Is a Policeman required to contact the parent before telling off a child for say petty vandalism or being noisy?
Society has generally accepted rules of behaviour,anybody who is not prepared to have their child be subject to them should leave our society and find one that does. There are responsibilities as well as rights.
Hi pipmkl, thank you for your reply.
Just to clarify my point.
'IF' anyone has strong feelings regarding discipline in the school environment then these should be discussed with the head teacher prior to admission.
Of course the teaching staff can't dish out radical punishments although I do wish these days they were allowed to discipline unruly pupils like they used to in my day.
I don't think many of us do contest the standards of discipline in schools only to perhaps wish there was more of it.
As for the police then that's another matter altogether as they have their own ways of dealing with situations and we have to abide by them.
In fact my answer was a generalised reply to Sunflowers question which doesn't really go into who or why the her question was raised in the first place.
For me personally as a grandmother looking after sometimes my own grandchildren and their friends I always ask first how I should deal with any bad behaviour or tantrums should they arise and yes sometimes they do, so I follow their guidelines and send them to the 'naughty step' or up to their rooms which normally seems to do the trick.
Finally I agree with your last sentence, yes there are responsibilities as well as rights.
I think it is fine for others to tell children off if the parents/guardians are not around. If not then it is up to the parent to make the decision.
If you leave your children in the care of someone else then it should be that they are able to discipline your child (i.e. tell them off). I don't like how parents go into schools to complain that their child has been told off, as teachers have to set a standard for all children to follow.
Another of your questions that is not relevant to this site.
Actually different cultures have different views about child rearing and you might find better sites to ask this question - this site is for money issues ?
see: http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/toddler_development/discipline/article/child-rearing-around-world
if they have permission from that parents to tell them off if there are not around then yes, if the parents are there and someone else jumps in when they have done something wrong then no...
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